Image: Big Bang (mixed digital media with Light Language) Martha McLachlan 2018
To me, I-dentity is an enigma What is it that determines who we are? Our names, ethnicity, gender or nationality? As I progress on my journey through life, I become less and less defined. Those borders and staging posts of identity become more and more blurred.
When I was very small and I needed the bathroom (which my father was occupying at the time)…I would knock on the bathroom door. He would ask who was it? My answer was always ‘It is me’, and his reply was always a teasing ‘I do not know any me!’. I refused to define myself by the name I was given, always feeling that it was an inadequate measure of my identity…even though there is true power found in a name. This metaphor rings with wider and greater truth for me, the longer I remain in this human experience.
My travels around this glorious planet have connected me with all gender types, ethnicities and human experiences through the lens of love. I have ceased to see myself, the ego-based me, as being me. I am somehow or other…other…the watcher, the observer and all others are extensions of Self. Like players upon a stage immersed in their introspective dramas, unaware of the audience or lack thereof…unaware that we are one and the same.
My detachment is like a kaleidoscope of shapes and colours that filters experiences through my emotion of love. I connect intensely with a sip of tea, become immersed in that now moment of deliciousness and yet I am capable of remaining detached from the greater human drama.
At one point, I would have defined this as my Higher Consciousness State, but even there I no longer feel a sense of separation or uniqueness. Simply being…until something zooms into focus and shakes me out of my dream-like state. I have come to I-dentify with those moments of focus. I BE-come one with those moments…that fragrance of perfume, that song, those eyes, that touch. Is this what it means to be? To BE defined by fleeting moments of connection with simple truths?
The fact that I am even pondering this is proof of the existence of ego on my part, but I still fail to define myself. This is my personal enigma or chameleon-like nature. To have the awareness of self enough to ponder who I am, but not enough to come to any conclusion. Perhaps I never will.
Rise Higher Shine Brighter beautiful Ones! Whoever you choose to BE!