
I am not entirely certain what the title for this latest entry in my journal could be, but I have spent some time navel gazing and in deep introspection. And one thing became very clear to me…I do not like hope. Hope seems to embody that dreamer’s wish upon a star…that wish that one day all will come right. While that in and of itself is the bright side of the hope coin, there is a sneakier more subversive side to it.
One day I wish upon a star…but secretly I believe it is impossible; that is the dark side to hope. That sneaky self-sabotaging negation of one’s dreams. The one day that never comes because of the resistance to that very dream that is imbedded in that hope. The wish that someone would come galloping to the rescue and save us from ourselves. When we know damn well no one but ourselves can pull us out of the mires and prisons to which we have condemned ourselves.
To hope is to shift the responsibility of salvation upon another, to not trust that we are brave enough, big enough, strong enough, DIVINE enough to face ourselves and triumph. Hope is the lazy child of FAITH, and if you have not cottoned onto it by now…hope makes me annoyed. Hope requires no blood, sweat and tears, no struggle and Mastery of self. It is weak and narcissistic…the ultimate victim of it’s own tepid lack of determination.
I am too fierce for hope, too feral for hope, too DETERMINED for hope. I AM a Warrior Queen of Olde, the Tigress within every Mother, the brandishing Light of FAITH. I vanquish doubt in myself and know myself and my worth. I need no vapid wishes upon a star…for I AM the star as are you ❤ And I burn…burn in the Light of Faith. I have every FAITH in you, for you are me as surely as I AM you. And I have every FAITH that one day, like me, you will live the life of your dreams.
Rise Higher Shine Brighter
Martha xx